Reboot

I want to apologize, for not being on here a lot, but I know why. God wants us to serve, that is the number one mandate for Christians. But - we also need to find time to seek Him, alone. My mother works now, so I do all the errands, and my gym is 20 min from my house (its really nice, so I don't mind the gas cost to go the 8miles to get there.) The times when I'm alone in my car are my worship hours. I turn on Air1 Radio and I just sing. It takes spiritual energy to get on here and post to you all, and if TonY ever breaks his phone I might actually get a chance to be the first to reply to a page message (jk, lol.) We sometimes need to recharge our spiritual batteries.

Our mom's know this, about needing that "me time." My mom has even said, "If you have a baby that's crying, for no immediate reason, and you are at your wits end: leave the room. Make sure they are safe, but remove yourself. Put on headphones, whatever it takes, and calm down. When you are back to center, then you can go take care of the baby, and have a better mindset about it. She'll even sense you're calmer and it will pacify her."

People of all ages need those "let it cry while I get back to center" moments. There might be things in your life that you know you need to do (ie: me get on here and talk to all you awesome little fireballs for God) but if there is something in you (other than laziness) that is keeping you from it, then address it. God will bring situations to our awareness so we will do something about them. That's not to say He wants it done this instant, you have to know His timing.

His timing isn't just about actual events, revelations of the mind and heart count too. He will always come through when He sees fit, and we have to be patient. Even if that baby is crying, you have to be ready to comfort him/her. Same with life. Even if things around you are falling to pieces (or in my case, the house is a wreck and you have 24 hours to clean it, paint a bathroom, and make 3 meals premade for the weekend) you need to get yourself center in Him before you grab the spackle and the paint and go to town on the shattered walls.

Reminds of this song I used to listen to almost every day (the CD's WOW 2000 to WOW 2007 were my childhood.)

Welcome to this heart of mine
I've buried under prideful vines
Grown to hide the mess I've made
Inside of me
Come decorate, Lord
Open up the creaking door
And walk upon the dusty floor
Scrape away the guilty stains
Until no sin or shame remain
Spread Your love upon the walls
And occupy the empty halls
Until the man I am has faded
No more doors are barricaded

Come inside this heart of mine
It's not my own
Make it home
Come and take this heart and make it
All Your own
Welcome home

Right to Ourselves: Ego

An outsider looking into the current state of the population of most first-world countries would conclude, given the evidence found in everything from magazines promising perfect bodies by summer time to the number of social media accounts boasting our latest adventures, that we are a very egotistical society. In fact, we are not. Even if ego were the popularly defined belief of self-superiority, then the evidence of our image worshiping society does not support its existence, but lack of it. Therefore, this cannot be ego’s true nature.

            The “selfie” is a prime example of this misinterpretation. Take for instance teenagers on social media. As of May 2013, the average teen on the popular social media site Facebook has over 300 friends, according to a study titled “Internet Project” by PewResearch. The same study showed that 91% of the photos posted by these users are of themselves, taken by themselves, thus the term “selfie.” This practice has become so common that the Oxford Dictionary even added selfie as a legitimate word in the English language as of last year. One would think this practice of teen social media users immortalizing images of themselves so frequently would mean an overabundance of ego, yet PewResearch determined that, “teen Facebook users will manipulate their profile and timeline content in order to garner the maximum number of “likes,” and remove photos with too few “likes.”” The act of removing a picture solely because it did not reach the level of popularity desired is a strong indicator that this perceived ego brushing practice is in fact a well-disguised lack of self-esteem.

            A much darker reality stems from this lack of ego. Self-harm is the act of causing yourself intentional pain through cutting, burning, hair-pulling, or scratching, and can be as deadly as self-poisoning and intentionally breaking bones. The Truth Hurts conducted a study focusing on these things, and concluded that these symptoms and disorders have an onset in young people as early as twelve years old and as many as one out of every fifteen teens in the United Kingdom is affected by some form of self-harm. The study, published in Mental Health Practice, confirmed that, “It is very common for young people who self-harm to have low self-esteem, to lack confidence and to have a poor self-image.”

Has our misinterpretation of the term ego led to this? We live in a society that looks down upon those who boast in themselves, yet we accept a lack of self-confidence as the status quo by making the search of it through superficial “likes” as normal. In turn, we reap the deadly repercussions of a youth who believe themselves to be without self-worth.

A society that has lost this sense of self as described in the novella, Anthem, published in the United States in 1946 and written by famous novelist and philosopher, Ayn Rand. The novel’s working title prior to publication was “Ego,” and her work does a good job of personifying the destruction that comes when the word is misused, and worse, forgotten. She ends the novel by stating,

“And here, over the portals of my fort, I shall cut in the stone the word which is to be my beacon and my banner. The word which will not die, should we all perish in battle. The word which can never die on this earth, for it is the heart of it and the meaning and the glory.

The sacred word:

EGO.” (p.128.)

It is true that ego is the belief of one’s personal worth. It is not self-righteousness, neither is it the thought of your own superiority, nor is it the act of self-worship. A lack of ego and its widespread misinterpretation has led to a pandemic of people who are afraid to believe in themselves and their right to self-appreciation. Ego is in fact the one thing our society lacks. It is the personal conviction that your life, your actions, and your beliefs are worth something, and in turn, you are worth your own existence, effort, and faith.

Glimpse

I want to share a story with you all. This story is on going, and I want to share why. My mother and I were at a thrift shop a few days ago and I saw the most elegant dress, ever, red carpet worthy, brand new, never worn. I tried it on, just because. 

It was beautiful. 

I started thinking about how silly it was, for me to get it, having no where to wear it. I was kind of sad, to find this seemingly flawless dress, very much affordable, but to have no where to wear it to. I have never been to prom, and no one ever asks me to Army balls (my father is military.) 

I put the dress back and didn't think about it again until tonight, when God reminded me of something. 

He will give us glimpses of His plans for us, and we have to trust that He does stand true to giving us the desires of our heart. Even if it was just a dress, He saw how much I adored it, and I can promise you as clear as day He said, "Not that dress, not this time, but one day." 

He's done it before, and He has never failed on His word. At 15 it was a red corvette "Not that car, not this time, but one day." One day came a month ago when my parents and I bought a new Corolla, and though it isn't the corvette, it sure drives like one, and bonus: a backseat & gas mileage. 

That dress is nothing more than fabric, but His promises will last forever. Whatever it is, whatever glimpse He has given you, whatever your "not this and not now, but soon" moment is, take faith in it. I know things get hard, and as a teen I know that many battles lie ahead of both of us, but He is with you. He wants to bless you. He wants you to have a better job, a safer home, a newer car, a better state of health, and it will all come in His timing. Until then, treasure the glimpses, but never forget to keep looking up. 

-Arial "Lioness of God" 

Make it Count

There are no little victories when it comes to overcoming sin.

Smile when you do good, because He is too, and repent when you misstep, because there will always be a way to turn it around. Every choice we make will bear a consequence, good or bad depends on which path we took.

If you ever find yourself justifying an action, don't take it. With God there is peace, so if the choice is righteous there will be no debate needed. You will be faced with questions and chances today. Questions about your faith. Chances to further it. Temptation. Trials. Keep in mind that even our thoughts must be guarded, from our thoughts comes our actions.

Every little thing counts.

Make today count in a good way.